16-year-old son finds out the reason for his parents' divorce, leading him to move in with his dad full-time, mom accuses him of ruining the family: ‘You should have minded your own business ’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Dec 21, 2025 4:00 PM EST

It's natural for parents to want to shield their kids from hard truths about their mistakes. Many children put their parents on high pedestals, and it's never easy to learn that the people who raised you are also human beings who mess up. So, many parents do whatever they can to keep their skeletons in their closets, as far away from their kids' grasp.

But here's the thing: nothing stays a secret forever, and even the most devoted parents can't keep their kids away from the truth forever, which is exactly what happened in the story below.

The 16-year-old son and 15-year-old daughter were always curious about what happened between their mom and dad. While their parents tried to keep every family gathering as civil as possible, it was still clear to the teens that something had happened between the two that provoked the divorce. So, the son started digging and discovered some secrets that his mom never intended to reveal.

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  • Secrets that caused the teen to cut contact with his mom and move in with his dad for good. Scroll down to find out exactly what these secrets were…

  • AITAH for digging to find out the reason my parents divorce and hate each other so much?

    I (16m) have grown up with parents who can't stand each other. They did their best to keep it from me and my sister (15f) but there were times it slipped.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • Sad teenager boy outdoors alone
    via amazingmikael

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It happened a couple of times when my dad would bring his girlfriend Anya along to events for me and/or my sister and my mom would be bursting with anger.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • She was never able to hide how much it bothered her that Anya was present and she was 3+ years with dad before she started coming or playing any kind of role in our lives.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • It would piss dad off when mom was rude to Anya or just overall looking hostile.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • The other time was when our dad and stepdad were in the same space at the wrong time.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • One time even though they probably thought we couldn't see, we saw the two of them screaming at each other and my dad walked away but I honestly thought he was going to punch my stepdad.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • Me and my sister never knew the reason for the divorce. We just knew that our parents would pretend things were civil and dad never spoke badly about mom or our stepdad and our mom didn't much but it happened once or twice.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • After that fight where I thought dad would hit my stepdad I started to really question what was going on.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • So I asked around. I asked so many family members and family friends until I found out my mom and stepdad had an affair and it was going on for long enough that dad had to DNA test me and my sister.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • We're his. But there was bad blood. Mom wanted our stepdad to be seen as equal dad and he wanted the same but she hated that me and my sister liked Anya and really gave her and dad hell for us liking Anya so much.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • I always promised my sister I'd tell her if I found out what happened and I told her.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • We were both really angry and we told dad we knew first. We talked to him and he still wouldn't say much but he said he wanted us to be happy even if he had to tolerate certain things.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • We confronted mom after that and she was furious and demanded to know who told me.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • I told her I asked around a lot of people and I wouldn't tell her who actually spilled.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • She told us we couldn't let this change anything because her and my stepdad are our parents and will always be and he's a good man who loves us as his own and we better not pull any shit over this.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • She said it was nothing to do with us. I told her it did when we had to be DNA tested and when we didn't get to have a happy family.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • Couple with divorce contract and ring on desk. Divorce
    via Andranik Hakobyan

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I told her she was the cheater and she created the awful environment for us and our stepdad helped her.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • My stepdad came home when we were still talking and he was so fast to blame dad but I told him it wasn't dad and that he had no right to be mad at dad when he tried to take his whole family from him.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • I got into trouble for saying it but I'm calling it like I see it. Even as a kid I knew he would try to come up with stuff to make us ask dad to spend less time with him.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • He'd offer to take me to a game, or he'd be planning a camping trip or other stuff.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • My mom has this issue now with the fact I asked around like I did. She told me I should have minded my own business because I made everything worse.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • She asked me what I gained and I told her I gained better respect for dad and the ability to see through her and my stepdad.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • We told her and our stepdad we wanted to live with dad full time. No more 50/50.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • My mom said no. But when my stepdad realized he wasn't going to have a good relationship with us anymore he told mom to let us go because it would only upset our half siblings to live like that.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • Now we live with dad and mom's more angry that I dug like I did. She told me I ruined our family and destroyed everything.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • Left-Art-1045 OP, your mother's character was revealed to you in so many ways. My three kids know their mother was a cheater, but like your dad, I've never said one bad thing about their mother. In fact I've encouraged them to have a good relationship with her. Unfortunately, one of them is no contact with her, while the other two are low contact (they are all in their 30's now). Very sad that 100's of choices she made have consequences, and accountability tied to them. I wish you well navigatin
    via Left-Art-1045
  • OP J3ss3Sixt It was and my stepdad's too. After learning everything about their affair and what came after it made me lose all respect I had for them because they have treated my dad and Anya like garbage and all because they want to be selfish.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • Complicated_Disaster NTA. At your age your parents should be able to tell you the truth. They should know that "protecting" you will make things worse.
    via Complicated_Disaster
  • OP J3ss3Sixt My dad was afraid to tell us the truth in case mom hauled him back to court for it. I don't blame him either. My mom and stepdad would have been happy to take custody away from him.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • swingmadacrossthesun When did you find everything out?
    via swingmadacrossthesun
  • OP J3ss3Sixt I found out 3ish months ago.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • OverallCookie9739 Have you and your sister gone No-Contact with your mom and step dad?
    via OverallCookie9739
  • OP J3ss3Sixt Not yet because the courts would probably not approve of that if mom pushed it and I think she would. But we talked about doing it when we turn 18.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • 13ex_G Nta adult business is adult business but it was clearly effecting you and the fact your moms husband would try and manipulate you guys to spend less time with your dad is alarming. Now that he can't keep the facade going, I'm sure he is going to alienate your mother from you guys. Hopefully you can work on the relationship with your mom because she did do something bad for a while but parents can't be perfect people and if she takes accountability and makes the changes you need hopefully
    via I3ex_G
  • OP J3ss3Sixt It was always something that felt kinda weird but he never pushed it super hard so it was easy to let it go. But knowing he would taunt dad whenever he spent time with us, knowing he would try to come up with stuff to do with us on dad's parenting time, it makes me see him in a much worse light.
    via J3ss3Sixt
  • ElectronicHold7325 You didn't ruin anything! Cope with the new information! Work on a good relationship with your mother and stepdad. She cheated on your father, not you!
    via ElectronicHold7325
  • OP J3ss3Sixt I'm not going to have a good relationship after everything that I've learned. That's not likely to ever change either.
    via J3ss3Sixt

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family drama aita kids mother siblings parenting divorce family sister stepdad parents children Father
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